Saints Row: The Third Review (360)

Game Review: Saints Row: The Third
Release: November 15, 2011
Genre: Open World Third Person Shooter / RPG
Developer: Volition Games / THQ
Available Platforms: Xbox 360, PS3, PC
Players: 1 – 2 Online Co-op
MSRP: $59.99 US
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
Website: www.SaintsRow.com

This review is for anyone who is unfamiliar with the Saints Row franchise. Myself. I have never played a Saints Row game prior to “The Third” so there will be no comparing this to previous titles. Instead, I am seeing this game with virgin eyes that will never be quite the same. If you are not old enough to play this game, then you are probably not old enough to read this review, but for the rest of you, prepare for an over the top journey to the dark side.

You are Johnny Gat, leader of The Saints, a street gang that originated on Saints Row in Stilwater. In the events of the preceding games, The Saints have “merged” with the former rulers of Stilwater, Ultor Corporation (Saints Row 2). Now called the Saints-Ultor Media Group, the gang has produced Saints-branded merchandise to cash in on their worldwide fame. The Saints have become celebrities and are expanding into the city of Steelport.

“The gang spends their days signing autographs (in the middle of bank heists) and partying at the most exclusive clubs. They are kings of the world, but everyone wants a piece of their crown. The Saints have attracted the attention of a ruthless group known only as The Syndicate.”

The main question is not what you CAN do in this game, it’s what CAN’T you do. Here’s just a taste of the activities waiting in Steelport: Sky Diving, Automobile Combat, Wave Tower Defense Combat, Car Theft and Delivery, Base Jumping, Helicopter Combat, Boat Chases, Tank Assaults, Protection Missions, Collectable Blowup Sex Dolls and Pallets of Cash; and that doesn’t really touch on the missions which start out in the vicinity of WTF and traverse a wide spectrum of “you have got to be kidding me.” Each is so over the top that it makes you wonder just how seriously twisted the folks at Volition are. I, for one, am really glad that the good folks at Volition have created a place where the criminally inclined can put their creativity to good use.

The main object of “The Third” is to rescue Steelport from The Syndicate and the various gangs under their control. The geography is spread over a set of islands that you can gradually take control of by purchasing property there and killing off rival gang members. The more property you own, the more income you make per hour. You will need this cash to buy weapons, ammo, upgrades, car mods, boat mods, clothes, etc. The RPG elements of the game are cleverly combined into the economy so that you never feel like you have to “level up” to make the game fun or playable.

What’s really great about the game is the complete lack of seriousness combined with balls-to-the-wall violence. The one liners are spread out so they don’t wear thin, and you never know exactly what might be involved in your next mission. With all of the big titles on the shelves right now, do not overlook Saints, as it delivers in excess in the fun category.

On the flip side, there are always bugs in any game on release day, and Saints Row The Third is no exception. The graphics are not world class – they are pretty average. There are the occasional clipping problems and even a lockup here and there. The integration with the Saints Row website, where in game screenshots and characters can be shared, is a bit sketchy, but Volition is on top of it and has corrected many of the problems this past weekend.  None of this is enough of a buzz-kill to avoid this game, and many of the in-game issues I had early on are already fixed.

As long as you aren’t easily offended by violence, colorful language, more violence, prostitutes, pimps, strippers, bondage, excessive violence, gang warfare or using huge purple dildos as weapons – then you will thoroughly enjoy this game. If any of this rubs you raw, then you better grow a pair, strap it on and get over it, because The Saints just simply don’t give a ****!

• Open World, Do Anything, Wanderfest
• Everything Is Over The Top
• Always Fun / Never Too Cheesy
• Unique Campaign With Lots Of Twists And Turns
• Some Bugs But No Buzz-Kill

Final Score: 8 out of 10

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Lego Universe Calls It Quits

Today, a general email went out to Lego Universe subscribers informing them that the game will be shut down on January 31, 2012. The reason given is simple – there just are not enough subscribers to sustain the game financially. Recently, the game went “free-to-play” and offered the entire game world open to all for a weekend, but apparently, this didn’t attract enough interest to keep the game fiscally viable.

• The game will be turned off on January 31, 2012 at midnight (EST).
• All current subscribers (1, 6 or 12 month plans) who still have active subscriptions on December 31 will receive a refund for any remaining game time remaining after December 31 as well as free play from January 1, 2012 until January 31.
• For example, if you purchased a 6-month subscription on September 1, 2011 (which would expire on February 29, 2012), you would be refunded $16.66 for the 2 months following December 31.
• We will begin processing all refunds on February 1, 2012. All refunds will be made to the credit card used for the original subscription.
• If your subscription expires before December 31 you will need to purchase an additional 1 month subscription by December 31 in order to get the free game play in January (again, any unused game time as of December 31 will be refunded.)
• LEGO Universe game cards can only be used until December 1st 2011. Unused game cards after December 1st can be converted to LEGO Shop @Home gift cards for the same value.
• Please note: Details on how to convert unused game cards will be posted on December 1.
• You can continue to enjoy the free to play zone until January 31, 2012 but your last chance to convert to a paying subscription is December 31, 2011.

Perhaps we will see this content folded into a standalone game someday, but for now, the Lego Universe calendar ends on 1/31/2012.  Additional details can be found here.

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The War Of The Worlds Review (XBLA)

Game Review: The War of the Worlds (XBLA)
Release: October 21, 2011
Genre: Side Scroller
Developer: Other Ocean
Available Platforms: Xbox 360 (Ps3 later)
Players: 1
MSRP: 800 MS points ($10 US)
ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and up)
Website: www.waroftheworldsgame.com

It is only appropriate that our review of “The War of the Worlds” should post at Halloween time, the anniversary of the historic 1938 radio broadcast, which like this game, was an adaptation of the 1898 H. G. Wells book of the same name. This re-imagining is quite different from the radio broadcast or the popular movies, all set in New Jersey or California. Staying far truer to the book, this telling is set in London. For those who are unfamiliar, the story is about an invasion of Earth by Martians who are hell-bent on eradicating the human species.

“The War of the Worlds is a dark and breathtaking new vision of the classic H.G. Wells novel, retold as a single player side-scrolling action-adventure, narrated by the acclaimed and distinguished actor, Patrick Stewart. Set in London, the gameplay narrative parallels the timeline and events from the 1953 movie adaptation, but introduces a new story arc, characters, locations, and sub-plots. With gameplay paying homage to classic cinematic platformers such as Flashback, Out of This World and Prince of Persia, the game follows the exploits of an unknown everyman struggling to escape the Martian invasion of London and rescue his family. Forced to think through insurmountable odds, players will outsmart an army of alien tripods, spiders and drones as they make their way through a landscape of total devastation.” – Other Ocean

The game focuses on the survival efforts of Arthur Clarke as he searches for his family while the World crashes down around him. Our first glimpse of the invasion is in the background at he rides on a passenger train during the opening title sequence. Brightly lit meteors streak down from the sky, one finding the tracks ahead, derailing the train, and so our journey begins as we climb from the wreckage.

Even though the overall arc of the game is to find Clarke‘s family, the main focus is on trying to survive from moment to moment. You will leap from car to car, hide behind walls, dodge heat rays and outsmart alien probes in traditional side-scroller style. What is not so traditional is the level of difficulty that this game quickly ramps up to, and sustains after the first few chapters. As the story progresses it is obvious that our protagonist is not nearly as agile as the level designers had hoped, making him feel heavy, clumsy, and slow to respond.

One could not hope for a better narrator than Patrick Stewart whose theatre trained voice breathes life into the classic words of this tale. The story is told over top of the action as it happens, much like an audio book in sync with the events of the game. The artwork is dark and dreary composed of mainly black and white artwork with colored highlights. At first glance the game looks and feels much like Limbo due to the layered animation with out of focus action in the foreground, but the game mechanics set it far apart from the accessible likes of Limbo.

With such a widely loved intellectual property such as The War of the Worlds combined with the worldly voice talent of Patrick Stewart, it would seem that this game should be aimed at a rather broad audience. Unfortunately, poor controls and highly frustrating level design that calls for more accuracy than the main character can provide breaks this game completely. Add to this a useless checkpoint system that causes you to repeat long sequences of tedious maneuvers over and over again and you have a potential candidate for worst game of the year.

Be aware, downloading and playing the demo will give you a sense of the beautiful artwork in the game but fails to expose you to the any of the difficulty since the first couple chapters are there to establish the story and acclimate you to the controls. Just past the end of the demo the difficulty scales up ruthlessly.

Although The War of the Worlds is seductive; It’s wonderful to listen to and beautiful to look at, and the demo seems completely reasonable, this game is not fun at all. Casual gamers should steer completely clear of this game which must have been forged in the pits of hell for only the most masochistic of gamers with a consuming need to achieve the impossible. For the few extreme hardcore gamers that like this sort of thing, this game will provide you with hours of joy and mental anguish. For the rest of you, do yourself a favor; satisfy your craving for The War of the Worlds with the free book from Project Gutenburg  or the public domain audio book at LibraVox.

• Classy artistic presentation
• Perfect narration by Patrick Stewart
• Impossibly difficult chapters
• Frustrating lack of checkpoints
• Sluggish controls
• Satan approved – 100% fun free

Final Score: 2 out of 10

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